My Diary - Part 1 blog - eskilo

Everything here was taken from my tumblr, nothing is made up.

I’m taking those damn pills for 20 days, they do nothing, they only make me forget about my past, about my day-day, I don’t remember things that happened in those 20 days… I don’t want to take those pills, I don’t want to suffer like that, being druged to forget about bad things, to forget about my aggressive behaviour. My dad just fought with me, because my mom always says bad things about me… I wish I was dead in the moment, a few people worry about my mental health.. They don’t know about things I see, what I think, What I feel….

FUCK, I’M HAVING ANOTHER BREAKDOWN… This shit is terrible, I feel so terrible, so mad.. I want to kill people, I want to laugh at their face.. The world is soo serious, look what they did to me..

I’mgoing to write a diary… It’s something I have to.. before seeing the doctor, he’s stupid, giving me some stupid medicine, what he thinks he is? He’s crazy, I don’t want to take them, I want to live without them… I want.. to be myself.  

There’s someone watching me, maybe, just to prove that I’m wrong… I don’t know, the doctor said I was going to have a normal life, HAHAH, normal.. What is normal?

  
Now I know how Simon felt, I know, it’s a videogame, just a game… But, if he was real, I would love to meet him.. I don’t know, I feel strange, weird…

I want to laugh, idk why… I want to laugh and cry hahahahhahahahhahaaha
there’s something, behnd my curtains, i KNOW IT

Something tells me, from inside, not in my ear, NO NOT IN MY EAR. That my mom deserves to die… But I’m not going to do it.. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO I’M NOOOOOT. I have to keep the controol, it has to stop. IT HAS TO STOP… I’m not crazy, I’m not crazy… It’s just my instinct

Everytime I think about the doctor, I want to cry, I want to kill… He looks like a mid age gay guy, hahahah, what a fag… He looks to me like I’m an insect…. He thinks he’s the emperor.. Hahaha     

The only thing I want now,is to kill.. kill.. kill.. blood, death, laugh, hahahahahahahhaahha. BUT WAITWAAAAAAAAAAAIT, WHAT ABOUT THE TING IN THE CURTAIN? I BETTER JUST STFU

I better go to sleep, I heard thething only attacks those who keeps their eyes to him..

(Can't insert gore here, check out my tumblr for more info)